I was walking in my new apartment complex, and saw this note on the door of the place across the hall and two down. If you can’t read it, it says:
“Hello- This is a friendly request that you please play your music at a lower volume. I can hear it easily through my walls, and [...]
Can you figure out which one I am in this picture?!??!?! (circa June 2000)
I was going through a box of my old things. I found a folder of notes from when I went to school. These are my three favorite ones. Maybe the first two are only funny to those who were there. But, I’ll [...]
Oh no! I have to go to another one of these meetings!!!!
When you start receiving Unemployment, you have to attend a meeting where they teach you how to get a job. But it’s not the kind of meeting that is helpful for anyone who has half a brain…. They tell you not to bring weapons [...]
At 11:45a I hear this horrible noise..It sounded like one of the cats had knocked something over that was glass…..I kept hearing the sound of broken glass, so I get up.
When I open my bedroom door I see TWO HUGE FUCKING DOGS AND A MAN IN MY APARTMENT!!!
Mind you, I am in a t-shirt and [...]
*My girlfriend Leighan, our friend Mika and I were talking about The Chinese Zodiac*
Mika: So Jordin, you were born in ‘82, that makes you a……dog……and you are most compatible with The Tiger…Who was born in 1986?
Me: Um, Oh….. *trails off*
Leighan: I know exactly who you are thinking of.
Me: oh yeah, who?
Leighan: Megan Fox
Me: How the [...]
I thought the feeling of being in absolute pain over losing my Memere would wear off when I got home… I kind of hoped it would…but it isn’t getting any better……
Last night I cried….the night before I cried….. I searched Craigslist for Estate Sales that had 45’s and 78’s (records), and figured if I went [...]
(A ‘Memere’ is french-canadian for “Grandmother”. Many Mainers call their Grandmother a ‘Memere’….)
I just remember staring at her crypt, and being unable to stop crying. This beautiful marble top that would house my Memere’s coffin. I just kept reading the couple words over and over again……
“Lorraine P. Toussaint. November 18th 1933 – January 28th 2010″………
I [...]
THESE GOD DAMN CATS!!!
My girlfriend and I tried another brand of cat food on our cats… NO GO!! They only like the EXPENSIVE STUFF….. They’ve been starving themselves for two days in protest!!
I couldn’t take it anymore so I went to Safeway at 11pm to get them their expensive-ass cat food.. (Snobs!)
Go to Safeway, get [...]
I am a huge Beatles fan. I learned how to play guitar by a book called, “The Beatles: Complete Scores”. (Anyone who’s seen this book always points out that I wrote “The Bible” on the cover!)
In 7th grade I wrote a paper on how you could change the date John Lennon was killed, into my [...]
This ‘78 came out in 1952. The Ames Brothers – I Wanna Love You on Coral Records. I picked it up at the Antique Stores next to Seattle’s Underground Tour..
I had this fragile record in my posession for 10 minutes….Yes, TEN MINUTES, and I broke it….It has lasted MANY things, since it was made…Wars, Presidents, [...]
