My girlfriend and I had a’photoshop emergency’. She needed it for school. Nikko had a copy we could have, but we had to drive down to his house to get it…after 8pm.
Usually that is no problem. Growing up in a small town I enjoy a quiet semi-long drive once in a while, it gives me time to think. But this time was different….very, different.
Anyone in Seattle can attest to today being the first day of the “Seattle Winter” which includes (yup, you guessed it) RAIN…. Lots and lots of rain… It didn’t rain much all summer, so mother nature was holding it somewhere to dump it at the right time..
At that “right time” was RIGHT when I got in my car to drive 30 miles south to Federal Way…
Mind you I have a few issues with my car. One tire is going to blow at ANY minute. I have bad breaks. The window doesn’t go down, and THE WINDSHIELD WIPERS ARE BAD…….Very, bad…Every year I want to replace them, but was too busy to do it. (Who are we kidding, I need a new car all together…this is something I was saving up for BEFORE I LOST MY GOD DAMN JOB!)
Anyways…The word “Monsoon” doesn’t start to describe how heavy the rain was. We couldn’t see 3 feet in front of us. There was fog, and at one point we hit a puddle and the entire car was engulfed in water…Exactly like when you drive into a car wash…couldn’t see anything..couldn’t see the lines in the road, nothing.
The worst part was my damn wipers..they weren’t wiping anything. All I had to go on where the break lights in front of me…It was scary…I’m not usually scared, and this was scary……BUT THE BEST PART HAS YET TO COME..
I needed gas….really really bad…. I thought I could just pull off once I got onto the highway, but I was focused more on trying not to kill us that I didn’t notice the RED LIGHT BLINKING and saying ‘put some gas in me bitch! Immuh die soon without it!”
Finally I noticed the gas light was on, and we drove 2 miles to the next exit that had gas.. Mind you it is still raining like we’re under a spigot. (Wow..is that REALLY how you spell that word? huh….)
Gas light is blinking, cars acting weird, it’s raining like a mutha-what outside, IT’S PITCH BLACK BY THE WAY, and the gas station is CLOSED…..with yellow caution tape around it….. Now I’m panicking. The car is going to die before we can get gas in it.. I can feel it.
When in doubt, drive west…that’s what I did..drove west….Had my girlfriend try to find a gas station on my iPhone 3G…But it was being SLOW AS HELL…… Finally we go over a hill………3 miles later, and see a gas station…
My car…is running on fumes at this point. Pull into the station..no one is there… we are the only car. My girlfriend gets out and goes inside to pay….all of a sudden I hear this really angry noise…. I look over and 10 feet away there is a group of 13 mutha*****ing HOMELESS people..
Now these are not the kind of homeless people that say ‘thanks anyway’ if you tell them you don’t have change…….These are the kind that fucking ROB you…….. They were all like 6 foot 7, and built, like some kind of genetically mutated homeless person……And they were fighting….each other…
Oh did I mention the 13 PIT BULLS that each of these scary-ass motherfucking homeless people had? Yes I am swearing now, cos I am safe, and the only place they can hurt me now is in my dreams/fears!
Yes, each of these 13 scary-ass motherfucking homeless people had a PIT BULL! The DOG……They were yelling, and using the “f word” more than I am right now….a couple of them were on the ground rolling around punching eachother…the pit bulls were going crazy!!
And all I wanted was gas!!!!!!! I just wanted some gas………
Finally they disbursed after what felt like an hour but must have been around 30 seconds, and of course they walked by my car….. Now I am a pretty big bad-ass….And I can hold my own..but I was just so annoyed with almost dying in the car, almost running out of gas, that when the 13 mutant homeless people and their 13 mutant pit bulls walked by, I was honestly scared….
SO WHAT DOES ONE DO?????
………..I TWEETED!!!
It was one of those situations where you can’t look AT them, cos if you make eye contact, you will get fucked with or robbed, and if you don’t look at them, they could get mad that you didn’t…….. My girlfriend was in the store STILL paying as they all walked by me…..
I looked down..just thinking, ’so this is how it’s gonna end……….’ and I wasn’t even thinking about my life… I was picturing one of these 6′7 mutant homeless people stealing my MacBook Pro……. Cos ever since I got it, I knew something bad was gonna happen to it…….and all I was thinking was they were gonna steal it right out of my car…
Thankfully….and really, if there is a god he def. was watching over my ass tonight, thankfully, they walked by me and continued to fight…… But a little further away than they were at the beginning..
My girlfriend came back and told me she put $20 in my car, I pumped that gas faster than anyone has ever pumped gas before….Got in the car…..drove about a mile and then the monsoon STOPPED…..By some miracle of god the RAIN HAD STOPPED………
When I got to Nikko’s I looked at my gas cap, and realized that I didn’t put it on AT ALL when we were at the gas station…I pumped the gas, and then we left like the Road Runner! There had to have been a poof of smoke’ or something when we left because we got the F outta there so fast…it wasn’t even funny..
I replaced the gas cap…then Nikko put Photoshop on my computer..and we drove back…..The drive back was like heaven. Leighan might as well have been feeding me grapes while we were listening to classical music……. It was very different than the ride there…
