The randomness that is Jordin Silver
Take a look at this picture. It’s a shot of my girlfriend working on a project for one of her classes….But take the same picture, and adjust the color, and this is going on in the background:
And in case you wanna see it closer:
MY CAT HAS FANGS APPARENTLY!?!?! Remind me not to make him mad!
This is him later that night:
Bad Blanche Devereaux! Bad Blanche Hollingsworth/Devereaux!!
I was walking in my new apartment complex, and saw this note on the door of the place across the hall and two down. If you can’t read it, it says:
“Hello- This is a friendly request that you please play your music at a lower volume. I can hear it easily through my walls, and it is distracting when trying to sleep, watch a movie, or have a conversation. I would greatly appreciate this. Per our lease agreement, quiet time starts @10pm. Thanks much, and I hope you enjoy your new apt. -Your neighbor”
So it’s not just us having this issue at this place.
Speaking of which, what a wussy note this person left. Rather than walking up and telling them to their face, you leave a note that doesn’t even say who you are? I hate passive aggressiveness!
Can you figure out which one I am in this picture?!??!?! (circa June 2000)
I was going through a box of my old things. I found a folder of notes from when I went to school. These are my three favorite ones. Maybe the first two are only funny to those who were there. But, I’ll explain anyways:
We were always such good kids, and NEVER had any alcohol with us. That’s why this flier is so funny. It actually says, “Bring your own non-alcoholic beverage” but I whited out ‘non’ and put ‘very’ cos…WE NEVER DRANK!!!
*Address and phone number taken out to protect the innocent*
This is one of my favorites.
Remember back before you drove to school, and you had to take the bus? Well, if a friend wanted to take the bus to your house with you after school, you had to have your parents write a note. This is a note my friend Janet and I forged in 6th grade:
*DON’T LOOK AHEAD, READ MY DESCRIPTION BEFORE LOOKING AT THE LAST ONE*
This is my all-time favorite paper that I have from my childhood. I’ve actually told MANY people about this story *and probably talked about it on the radio* but it always seemed so, ‘out there’ that I didn’t think people believed me…. Here is proof:
What do you do when you turn 18 in Maine?? You buy a dirty magazine, some cigarettes, and get a piercing or tattoo! I did all three….Except I don’t smoke, so I gave the cigarettes away!
On my 18th Birthday
June 14, 2000
My friends said, ‘lets go get your belly button pierced!!’ ( I took the jewelry out in 2001….so just to let you know, hiding under my American Apparel Hoodie these days, is NOT a belly button piercing!)
I so nervous, I just signed the release paper and got the piercing. It wasn’t til hours later that we all realized how horrible the place was that I went and got pierced……I’m surprised I didn’t get a disease…
Did we catch all the misspellings?
When you start receiving Unemployment, you have to attend a meeting where they teach you how to get a job. But it’s not the kind of meeting that is helpful for anyone who has half a brain…. They tell you not to bring weapons to your job interview, don’t threaten the person who is interviewing you, and be ‘cooth’ during the interview.
Like, real no-brain-er stuff.
You can read about the last time I went (which is rather funny) right here. The woman that sat next to me absolutely STUNK, and she spent a half hour debating with the ‘teacher’ about why you should be able to use a red pen to fill out your Unemployment Job Search Logs…
Ugh..and I have to go to it again….. I’m expecting a pretty funny blog/podcast when I report back to you..
UPDATE: Oh my god, this ‘meeting/interview’ is on RAINER AVE IN SOUTH SEATTLE.. It’s in the middle of the GHETTO!!!!!!!
At 11:45a I hear this horrible noise..It sounded like one of the cats had knocked something over that was glass…..I kept hearing the sound of broken glass, so I get up.
When I open my bedroom door I see TWO HUGE FUCKING DOGS AND A MAN IN MY APARTMENT!!!
Mind you, I am in a t-shirt and underwear cos that’s how my sexy ass sleeps……And I say:
me: What are you doing?
dude: I am dogsitting
me: for who?
dude: 212
me: THIS IS 421!
dude: it is??
Any normal person would have been like, ‘OMG! I am so sorry’ and get the hell out of my apartment, but NOT this guy.
He acted like he didn’t believe me.. And he stood there looking over my stuff… It took him nearly 2 minutes to get the hell out of my apartment, and I couldn’t escort him, cos I was in my big fat gross underwear!!
After he FINALLY left, I started putting weird pieces together.. Like, he said he was supposed to be sitting for 212…We’re the 4th floor….And, I’m pretty sure that whichever apartment he is sitting for doesn’t look ANY-FUCKING-THING like my apartment!! Wouldn’t you get a clue pretty immediately?
Also I looked up the floor plan for the apartment he was supposedly staying in…. 212 is a totally different KIND of apartment, with CARPET and NOT HARDWOOD FLOORS. Um, you would get the clue if you walked onto HARDWOOD FLOOR when the apartment you were supposed to be in is CARPETED, right?!
It was just weird…how he stood there and looked over all my stuff, and took SO LONG to leave……… sooooo sketchy. I ALWAYS lock the door, but guess I didn’t this morning which is INCREDIBLY unlike me.
Another weird thing, last night I had to screw in my LOCK on the door, because it was getting loose….noticeably loose…
update: The Building manager wrote me back.. Check out part of her email: ‘The dogs don’t sound too familiar from the description, but I’ll definitely look through the files of submitted pictures to see what I can find. I’ll also ask around to see if I can find out if someone had a dog sitter over the weekend. The typical dog sitters in the building check in with us and I am familiar with them. Your description of the man doesn’t sound familiar either.’
Oh ish!!
I’m waiting on hearing from her if 212 are out of town or not. I’m gonna rig my front door all ‘home alone’ style for the next little bit… Nobody tries to steal from me!
*My girlfriend Leighan, our friend Mika and I were talking about The Chinese Zodiac*
Mika: So Jordin, you were born in ‘82, that makes you a……dog……and you are most compatible with The Tiger…Who was born in 1986?
Me: Um, Oh….. *trails off*
Leighan: I know exactly who you are thinking of.
Me: oh yeah, who?
Leighan: Megan Fox
Me: How the HELL did you know that?
Leighan: Cos I ALWAYS know what you are thinking!!
Me: Oh yeah, what am I thinking of now?
Leighan: Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
Me: damn…..you’re good…
*TRUE STORY!*
I mean, is it just me, or did they make the character that Johnny Depp plays in Alice In Wonderland look EXACTLY like Elijah Wood??!
I thought the feeling of being in absolute pain over losing my Memere would wear off when I got home… I kind of hoped it would…but it isn’t getting any better……
Last night I cried….the night before I cried….. I searched Craigslist for Estate Sales that had 45’s and 78’s (records), and figured if I went ’shopping’ it would make me feel better….but it is making me feel worse…
Usually I would go to these sales, pick up great records, and call Memere on my way home.. She’d comment about how she hates when I call her when I am driving, and then we’d have a laugh. I’d tell her what I got, and she’d tell me if she liked it, or if she didn’t…..sometimes we’d sing together on the phone…
God, the world feels soooooooo fucking empty…and the rain isn’t helping…….
I’m working on a new East End song right now. It’s called, ‘I Knew It Was Love’. Super catchy… Can’t wait for people to hear it…..But I can honestly say I feel a HOLE in my heart….. yes, I physically feel a space in my heart that isn’t there anymore, because my Memere is gone. I took a lot of what she showed me musically, and turned it into this band……….
For Christ’s sake, is this ever going to get better??
